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good citizen.

by Pendejo.

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1.
same. 01:59
I used to write songs when I was 12 and put them into a tape recorder. I wrote about my fat ass and racist white kids till I got much older. I showed my mom and she showed her friends. I never showed her anything again. I showed my bathroom and it didn't say anything. Things haven't changed. I'm the same. I used to read graphic novels in the back a Barnes and Noble on Friday nights, all by myself when I was in high school. Fuck I'm the same. When I go home, I don't feel home. I feel (like) a stranger in the parking lot with nothing surrounding. They used to laugh at me in middle school. Steal my hat and call me a fat ass. I punched them in the face and they yelled, "FIGHT!" I'm sifting through my memories of self ridiculed insecurities that I still have today. I'm still the same.
2.
work. 02:16
My job seems weird. (My drive has reached two hours) I teach young kids. (My drive has reached two hours) And I'm falling asleep at the wheel again. They think I'm old. (My check has reached two thousand) I'm not that old. (My bills have reached two thousand) And I'm counting sheep at the wheel again. I sideswiped a car. My insurance is fucked. It's safe to say I don't feel old enough to act like I am all grown up. My debt is way too fucked. This empty bridge. (A cop has pulled me over) A speeding ticket. (Fuck cops. They'll pull you over) And I'm driving over the limit again. My tires are slashed. My account is fucked. It's safe to say I don't feel old enough to act like I am all grown up. I guess you'll say I'm giving up but I'll say, "Fuck it, right?" It's safe to say I don't feel old enough to act like I am all grown up, but I pay all my bills and stuff, every single fucking buck. It's safe to say I don't feel old enough or maybe I mean smart enough or maybe I mean good enough or maybe I'm all of it.
3.
ugly. 02:51
my body is a temple inhabited by people who don't believe in me. who are only there cause it's Sunday. my mind is a mansion, giant, vast and useless, with only one purpose for anything: to hold ideas that feel much better than me. my chest is the moon, pale and filled with craters and with the hope that someone might turn up later. but now it's filled with nobody. just vacant, cold, and empty. all my wounds and scars seem heroic and charming. I finally found the beauty in my flaws. I am beautiful with decrepit hands and wretched skin. I am beautiful and I won't let the bad parts in. My soul is a kitchen with greasy dirty dishes and it's beautiful. all my wounds and scars seem heroic and charming. I finally found the beauty of it all. I am beautiful with decrepit hands and wretched skin. I am beautiful and I won't let the bad parts in. I'm tired of collecting sins of past misunderstandings. I am bark and wood in this vacant land. There are no trees beside me but here I stand. And I stand alone with my baron branch. I am beautiful and here I stand.
4.
light. 02:09
I see light dripping through the windowpane and it feels like the morning sun. I feel light seeping in my everything but I don't think the morning's done. I see light. I feel light. I breathe light. I am light.
5.
introvert. 03:42
Caught myself in a mechanical line between a rock and a hard place. Too familiar with the machinery. The clockwork fills the space. Reclusive isolation's a habit that I've come to adore. Electing talking to no one is a hobby and a sport. And I'm afraid of dying like everybody else. And I'm afraid to die beneath the ground, just like everybody else. I'll go outside a thousand times to see a forest or a lake, as long if it's by myself with no one else to take. And I'm afraid of dying like everybody else. And I'm afraid to die beneath the ground, just like everybody else. I've got a conscientious choice to make: to be with people or be alone. As death draws closer and closer I'll take the decision on my own. And I'm afraid of dying like everybody else. And I'm afraid to die beneath the ground, just like everybody else.
6.
citizen. 02:37
I'm a good citizen. I pay my debts and taxes. I am a good citizen, man. I pay my debts and taxes, that's where I stand. I am a second generation. My mom and dad were born here. They don't need no white skin. I am no criminal. I'm a public servant. So leave me alone. I am a new American. My hair is pitch black with forever brown skin. I am a man with an education. I got the student loans to prove it. I am no criminal. I'm a schoolteacher, man. My record's untainted, police officer man. I'm a good citizen. I pay my debts and taxes. I am a good citizen, man. I am a second generation. I am a new American. I am a good citizen, man. I'm a good citizen. I pay my debts and taxes. My mom and dad were born here. They don't need no fucking white skin. I am a good citizen, man.

credits

released January 12, 2016

Dylan - Bass, Vocals
Chris Lee-Rodriguez - Guitar, Vocals
Zach Sandel - Drums

Recorded by Sean Duffy in Boston, MA and Jeremy Comitas in Haworth, NJ.
Mixed by Sean Duffy.
Mastered by Jeremy Comitas.
Artwork by Naomi Antoinette Lawrence

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Pendejo New Jersey

ArtPunk Band that started as a joke and is now a not-so-much-a-joke-but-sorta-real band.

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